Some time ago, I wrote an article on the cycle of abuse to include here because I thought it would be useful in explaining some of what I talked about in the main abuse page. Shortly after I attached it to that page, I was introduced to a wonderful article on the cycle of abuse written by, Micki Terrell, MA, MFCC. Micki was kind enough to allow me to to include it here.
My article is essentially focused on the situation from an abuser’s perspective, since that’s what I’ve seen. Micki’s article is essentially focused on the victim’s perspective. As the song says, there’s three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the cold hard truth. By looking at the first two, side by side, you’ve got a real leg up on figuring out what the third is.
The important thing here is not to put a comprehensive boundary on what the cycle of abuse is — it’s to help increase the understanding of the basic self-sustaining nature of abuse and why it is that people are willing (or determined) to stay in relationships where they are being abused.