Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages

Online Bookstore
Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages
Online Bookstore
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This is my first pass at a rather large project -- compiling a useful set of useful books that will be helpful to people interested in learning about abuse, helping stop abuse, healing from abuse, or hoping to prevent abuse from being an issue in their lives. At this point, I've made two major divisions -- authors I know of, and authors I don't. I'll probably make some more useful divisions as time goes on, and I will definitely be adding more titles to this list. I will most likely divide this "bookstore" into multiple documents to make it easier to use. For now, you can choose any of these books and things, or you can use the thingy at the bottom to search for anything else your little heart may desire.

The proceeds that come from this, when there are some, will go to support the costs of providing this site. If there are more proceeds than that, I will apply them to expanding the site -- one of the first expansions, if it hasn't already happened, will be the addition of another mail list or two to the abuse-free list idea. Beyond that, I may use it to help cover my expenses so I'll have more time to dedicate to growing and maintaining this site.

That's all in the future. For now, there's just you, me, this document, and some books. If you've got ideas of books and authors that would fit on this list that aren't already here, give me a shout and I'll probably add them.

Authors I know of

Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Dr. Laura has been a very important part of my life, as I mention any time I tell the story of how I found recovery. She won't appeal to everybody, and she doesn't hit a home-run on every pitch, but her basic approach is quite refreshing against a backdrop of vacillating amorality as has been all too apparent in recent years.

Stephen R. Covey

During the time I was struggling with being alive and stuff, a good friend suggested I look into Mr. Covey's writing. I did, and have never regretted it. His principle-centered approach is, again, quite refreshing.

Michael Paymar

In the world of abuser recovery, every treatment program out there can tell you whether or not it is a "Duluth" type of program. Duluth, MN is the home of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, the nice folks who developed the Power and Control Wheel and the Equality Wheel (which the title and button logo of this site is based upon). Michael Paymar is one of these nice folks, and I've seen him in action in a videotape we use in our program. He seems to know what he's doing (which, in this field, is not a given), and his book Violent No More, available just below, is strongly recommended by my cofacilitator (I haven't yet read it).

Deborah Tannen, Ph. D.

Some years ago I was discussing communications with some friends of mine. One of them mentioned that she'd tried John Gray's book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and found it completely useless, but that she'd found Dr. Tannen's books and they had helped her immensely. On that recommendation, I've purchased two of her books and have found them very helpful also. Dr. Tannen is a sociolinguist, and her exploration of conversation style is very helpful in explaining why communications between people can go so very wrong for no apparent reason.

John Grey, Ph.D.

My friend aside, I and many other people have found John Grey's work to be a good place to start in the world of communication between the sexes. Some careful reading of his stuff can help you avoid some pitfalls (for example, attempting to apply "Martian" patterns to all men and only men) that others have fallen into with his books.

Gary Smalley

Gary Smalley is a noted Christian author and lecturer on marriages and relationships. We've used some of his videos in group and I've found them very helpful. Some of his work is targeted at a Christian audience, and some is written to a more general audience, but all of it brings a hopeful yet practical approach to making an intimate relationship work.

Authors I don't know who have written on abuse and related topics

James C. Dobson

Dr. Dobson is the very controversial Christian gentleman in charge of Focus on the Family.

Suzette Haden Elgin

Patricia Evans

For everything else:

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