Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Dr. Laura has been a very important part of my life, as I mention any time I tell the story of how I found recovery. She won't appeal to everybody, and she doesn't hit a home-run on every pitch, but her basic approach is quite refreshing against a backdrop of vacillating amorality as has been all too apparent in recent years.
- 10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
paperback, audio tape, large print - How Could You Do That?! : The Abdication of Character, Courage, and Conscience
paperback, audio tape - Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
audio tape, large print - The Ten Commandments: The Significance of God's Laws in Everyday Life
hardcover, audio tape [abridged], large print - Why Do You Love Me?
hardcover
Stephen R. Covey
During the time I was struggling with being alive and stuff, a good friend suggested I look into Mr. Covey's writing. I did, and have never regretted it. His principle-centered approach is, again, quite refreshing.
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People : Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
paperback, audio tape - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People : Restoring the Character Ethic
hardcover - First Things First : To Live, to Love, to Learn, to Leave a Legacy , with A. Roger Merrill and Rebecca R. Merrill
hardcover, paperback, audio tape - Principle-Centered Leadership
hardcover, paperback, audio tape
Michael Paymar
In the world of abuser recovery, every treatment program out there can tell you whether or not it is a "Duluth" type of program. Duluth, MN is the home of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, the nice folks who developed the Power and Control Wheel and the Equality Wheel (which the title and button logo of this site is based upon). Michael Paymar is one of these nice folks, and I've seen him in action in a videotape we use in our program. He seems to know what he's doing (which, in this field, is not a given), and his book Violent No More, available just below, is strongly recommended by my cofacilitator (I haven't yet read it).
- Violent No More : Helping Men End Domestic Abuse
hardcover, paperback - Education Groups for Men Who Batter : The Duluth Model, with Ellen Pence, Tineke Ritmeester and Melanie Shepard
paperback
Deborah Tannen, Ph. D.
Some years ago I was discussing communications with some friends of mine. One of them mentioned that she'd tried John Gray's book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and found it completely useless, but that she'd found Dr. Tannen's books and they had helped her immensely. On that recommendation, I've purchased two of her books and have found them very helpful also. Dr. Tannen is a sociolinguist, and her exploration of conversation style is very helpful in explaining why communications between people can go so very wrong for no apparent reason.
- You Just Don't Understand
paperback, audio tape - That's Not What I Meant : How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships
paperback, audio tape - The Argument Culture : Moving from Debate to Dialogue
hardcover, paperback, audio tape - Gender and Discourse
hardcover, paperback
John Gray, Ph.D.
My friend aside, I and many other people have found John Gray's work to be a good place to start in the world of communication between the sexes. Some careful reading of his stuff can help you avoid some pitfalls (for example, attempting to apply "Martian" patterns to all men and only men) that others have fallen into with his books.
- Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus : A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships
hardcover, audio tape [unabridged], audio tape [abridged], audio CD [abridged] - What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know : Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy
hardback, audio tape
Gary Smalley
Gary Smalley is a noted Christian author and lecturer on marriages and relationships. We've used some of his videos in group and I've found them very helpful. Some of his work is targeted at a Christian audience, and some is written to a more general audience, but all of it brings a hopeful yet practical approach to making an intimate relationship work.
- If Only He Knew
paperback - For Better or for Best: Understand Your Husband, with Steve Scott
mass market paperback, paperback - Hidden Keys of a Loving, Lasting Marriage : A Valuable Guide to Knowing, Understanding, and Loving Each Other
paperback - Making Love Last Forever
hardcover, paperback, audiotape
Rev. Marie M. Fortune
Rev. Fortune founded the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, an international, interreligious, educational resource on abuse and religion. I have seen her in action in the videoBroken Vows, and I would commend it to everyone interested in learning about abuse, and everyone involved in a religious community.
- Keeping the Faith : Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse
paperback - Violence Against Women and Children : A Christian Theological Sourcebook , with Carol J. Adams (Editor)
paperback - Is Nothing Sacred?; The Story of a Pastor, the Women He Sexually Abused, & the Congregation He Nearly Destroyed
paperback - Sexual Violence : The Unmentionable Sin
paperback - Preventing Child Sexual Abuse : A Curriculum for Children Ages Five Through Eight , with Kathryn Goering Reid
paperback - Preventing Child Sexual Abuse : A Curriculum for Children Ages Nine Through Twelve, with Kathryn Goering Reid
paperback - Sexual Abuse Prevention : A Course of Study for Teenagers, with Rebecca
Voelkel-Haugen
paperback - Love Does No Harm : Sexual Ethics for the Rest of Us
hardcover, paperback
Richard Bach
This isn't a self-help author, exactly, but his writings have proven helpful to folks having a rough time. I find them interesting in starting me thinking about things in a useful way.
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull: A Story
hardcover, paperback , audio tape


