Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages
My Story

When I created this site, I thought it would be helpful to include my story of how I got started in abuse recovery. It seems like pretty much everybody who comes to the world of recovery has to start by "spilling their guts" about where they've come from, and what brought them there. So I sat down, and wrote it out, beginning at the beginning of my recovery -- the worst night of my life -- and bringing it right up to that point (about six months after that night). That was my first installment.

Well, time went on, and I joined the Al-Anon mail list, and did another version of that -- once again, beginning at that night, and then bringing it up to that date. I don't recall precisely when that was -- sometime in the Winter or Spring of 1995. That was my "Al-Anon" installment.

And then I didn't write anything more about what was going on in my life for a long time. I was busy, and things were happening, and I didn't think I had anything all that profound to say. When it got to be time for my anniversary, I decided it was time to write another installment. And then I just didn't get around to including it in the site, until it was time to revise the whole site.

And then Faith decided to submit her side of the story. I have included it under the same conditions of any other submission -- I haven't edited it for content at all. As you might guess, she and I remember things quite differently, but I'm not going to make a detailed commentary or rebuttal of her submission -- her submission is not a rebuttal or commentary on any of mine. Rather, it's here to provide a rare look at two sides of one abusive relationship, and how both parties have handled the time since. I don't know if she will make any further submissions here or not -- right now, neither does she.

And then there came the time when it just grabbed me that I hadn't written anything here in almost five years and, rather suddenly, I had something to say, so I wrote my fourth installment. And then someone who had read these stories mentioned how I'd gotten remarried, and I realized that I needed to update things again, so I wrote my fifth installment.

When I created this section, I decided that I wouldn't go back and revise any of my submissions after the fact, because I didn't want to eliminate my earlier perspective. This does not extend, however, to the introductory documents like this one, so I've completely rewritten it. Neener.