Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages
Other People's Experiences With Abuse
Ruth Card's Story

My husband and I met in a strange way. My mom hired him to teach me to drive. I was a senior in High School (this was in 1989). I was 18 and he was 24 at the time. I just broke up with a guy i had been dating for about 2 years. It turned out he was gay, I walked in on him and the caption of the football team. ( but this is a story for a diffrent subject). anyway i was very upset and i thought i would never find a guy for me. Well I did the wrong one.

In June 1991 was the first sign of his temper. I was 81/2 months pregant and it was 4 days before we were going to get married. He said something and he hit me to defend myself i bit him on the sholder. I pushed him away and went to the bedroom and cried.

The second sigh was when i should of left for good. Our Daughter Amy was just 2 months old. I feed her the bottle and forgot to give her the medicen, she just that day had gotten her first set of shots. He asked me if i did give her the medicen I said no and he hit me and i flew across the room. I left him for 1 week.

My brother and sister in law made me feel as it was my fault. BecauseI was not doing what I should do, keeping up the house work and stuff like that. (taking care of a baby is a lot more work than most men think it is) So i went back to him in Dec 1991

I left him again this time he tried to strangle me. again I went back to him with in 3 weeks. Because my brother in law told me that I problely deserved it. My brother in law said this in a way that was tricky, becuase he told me that Dean did not mean to hurt me but I made him so mad that he needed to hurt me. This time when dean tried to strangel me, I had him arrested, and then like a typical woman i droped the charges.

I went back to him and things were ok till oct 1993 and i left him and went to a shelter and went back to him 45 days later, because i could not stand the shelter and i could not find a place to live on 200 a month, because thats all i would get from the state and i really did not want to be on welfare.

So, I went back to him in feb 1994 I left him again and this time i ment it, but because Amy Leigh wanted her DaDDY so much, Dean said he would go to a councler, (yea, right one time) and I felt so scared and alone when we went because we were in the office together. I felt like he was going to say somthing about what i said so I said NOTHING at all. it is really depressing.

And here we are in 1995 and I hate my marriage and I want out but I have no where to go and no one to turn to that I wish i was dead. Things would be better that way...

Thanks for hearing my Story...
Ruth Card
40152@ef.emc.maricopa.edu