I went to sleep shortly after my last post, and slept on the couch for a half hour or so, and then, after a bathroom trip, moved to my bed, where I slept for about an hour. Just as I woke up, Emily was in my doorway. I said “Hi,” and I guess she said “Bye,” and then she left to catch the bus to her mom’s. I was awake, and still pretty frustrated about the breathing thing. So I tried laying down on the couch again and the breathing was hard, and I got frustrated again. So I went for a walk and, while I was walking, I made a couple of phone calls — one to a friend who hadn’t heard any of what was going on with me, so I got to give her the full schpiel and whine and everything. Then I called Emily back when I got home (she called three times while I was talking to the other friend), and she was reallhy concerned about what was going on with me and wanted me to go to the after-hours place again. I decided that it made sense to go over there for the night again, and thought maybe I’d get Kathy to give me a ride to the after-hours place and then could get picked up from there.
Then I talked to Kathy about what was going on. I couldn’t think of anything medical that could be done for me that hadn’t been. I’d just had time to be on the prescribed pain med once through, and that wasn’t enough time to be back saying “that isn’t enough.” I also recognized that much of the problem was me being frustrated and scared and impatient. If I could focus on being calmer and more patient and relaxed, perhaps this could work. So I did this, and got a briefish nap after taking the next round of the meds, and then caught another almost-nap. Then I packed up and headed to Faith’s.
Things were pretty quiet there, so I read in my book for a while, and then talked to Emily. She was getting ready for bed, so I went and laid down and tried the focussing on being calm and relaxing and I went to sleep, and slept straight through until almost 0700 (which was about eight hours by itself), and then, after another bathroom trip and taking all the relevant meds, went back to bed and slept until 1020. This helped a lot. So I got up and, pretty soon, decided the best thing would be to come home, where I could get food that works with my funky life and take my diabetes med.
So I came home and watched some TV and, pretty soon, laid down and got another nap, until it was time for my next dose. Staying current with the meds has worked pretty well, as has the relaxing and being less crazy. It’s still a bit moment to moment, and having breathing be weird is still hard, but it’s working pretty well. I’m going to be going into town to buy some food and pick up a refill on my muscle relaxers in a bit — I’m even going to clean up a bit first. I might take a walk before that — walking doesn’t hurt.
Continued prayers are requested.