Category Archives: Admin

For FB Friends of friends:

If you see something I’ve posted that you like, and you think you want to see more from me by friending me, here’s a suggestion, based on experiences with people who have followed that path:

Please look over the things I’ve posted over the previous few weeks, to see if there’s something there that really bugs you. Most likely, there is. I have a variety of opinions across the ideological spectrum, and value the opinions of people I love who disagree with me on many things. I do not do well with people beating others up for being in a different ideological camp, so if you value doing that, you will likely not enjoy being my FB friend as much as you might think. I don’t think there are any ideas that are worth being mean to people over. My personal version of Mormonism and Christianity dwells a lot on the importance of showing love to all people, even those who are considered enemies (and I’m not really a fan of this idea of enemies). If you don’t consider yourself Mormon or Christian, this is still an expectation I have. Disrespecting someone’s opinions and actions is cool with me, but disrespecting people is not.

I love challenging widely held beliefs and assumptions. When my life exploded twenty-one years ago, and I found the world of recovery, I found that the most valuable things I learned came through challenging my beliefs and assumptions in a way that was quite painful at the time. But it was also the most rewarding. So I do a lot of challenging. If you don’t tolerate well having your beliefs and assumptions challenged, than you will likely not enjoy being my FB friend as much as you might think.

If you’re from overseas, and we have no friends in common, or something on your profile that gives me reason to understand why you want to be FB friends, you might want to send me a message, or comment on something I’ve posted, letting me know that you want to be friends and why. Otherwise, I’m likely to delete the request. I’m not running short on FB friends, and I’m no longer as willing to add people because they want to be added as I once was.

My version of yesterday’s bannination

It started when one of the mods started a thread the day before about when it was okay for men to comment on women’s appearance, which she indicated at the top was a test.  Evidently, from later comments she made in the thread, she had a specific male  ProgMo in mind (I don’t know who) who had evidently violated this rule.  It then morphed into having to do with not just commenting on a woman’s appearance to commenting on her body, and there was much vitriol and venting of spleens, and people left the group (or were removed — I don’t know).  And people became angry at me when I gave the correct answer (“Never,” which was given in the thread as the correct answer), but also described the experience whereby I had learned that that was the correct answer (the experience when I was banninated from FMHS), and then someone told me I was “being an ass,” and I said that saying that to me was “being a jerk,” and then the walls started falling down on me.  I started asking for clarification of this rule and describing in useful detail the process of my bannination from FMHS.  And this really pissed a bunch of people off, and nobody would give me any clarification other than “read this thread.”

So I read the whole thread, more than 500 comments.  Several prominent progressive Mormon men participated in the thread, and were wrong, even when they were listening and trying to please the women dominating the thread.  Several of those women commented how there were plenty of hints that this thread was a trap, and that they shouldn’t have expected to be okay in the thread, and how dumb they were to expect otherwise.

And, after responding to what I’d seen in the whole thread, I decided to take a break from the thread.  In the mean time, a number of women in the thread told me they wanted me to just stop, including the mod who started it all.  I’m not good at being silenced.  I did get some useful pieces of feedback that didn’t really apply to what I was doing, but did give me some new insights, but none from the women who were just climbing my frame.  One of the male mods tagged me in a comment, and I responded to him and some of the other things that’d been said, including my protest of the original mod using the group for a personal vendetta.  And then, some time later, I got a PM from another mod who hadn’t participated in the thread, telling me that, since I’d been asked to leave the thread and commented in it again, I was kicked out of the group, and could reapply in 30 days.  We had a little more conversation after that, and I decided that if the mods as a group are okay with what the first mod had done, then I wouldn’t be back.

I’m not going to name names.  I can’t quote any of what anybody said to illustrate my points, since I can’t get to the thread due to my bannination.  That’s why this is my version of what happened, not some objective accounting of exactly what happened.  I’m not okay with being in a space where anybody can dictate how participants can think, or where there is only one allowed opinion.  I prefer liberalism of the “I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” variety to this intolerant, doctrinaire and dictatorial variety.  As such, I’m going to recommend that people in the Hub search their souls and seriously consider leaving if they don’t approve of mod behavior like this.  Specifically, I don’t care for the trap thread, and I don’t care for being banninated with no warning that even a calm comment in the thread would result in bannination.  When I was banninated from FMHS, I was warned that repeating my horrible crime would result in bannination, but then I didn’t repeat the crime and was removed anyhow.  That was a bit crappy IMO, but not like skipping the warning.  The only invocation of the <mod> designation happened way up in the thread by the original mod, who said that personal attacks weren’t okay and would be deleted (which didn’t seem to have happened, as I reviewed the entire thread).  I don’t expect mods, or anybody else to be perfect, and power does tend to lead to abuse of power.  My problem will be if the other mods just go along with it, without creating some kind of process to prevent these abuses from happening again.  The one that notified me of the ban indicated that this wasn’t likely to happen.

I am considering opening a new Mormon discussion group that would be open to a wide variety of opinions, with no enforced orthodoxy or ideological monoculture.

Responding to WP comment spam

I’m starting to learn the way this is done, and have come to a new conclusion — any comment that doesn’t explicitly show thought about the post it’s responding to, or other comments responding to it, unless it’s made by someone I know that I know, will be marked as spam. “Nice post,” or the like from strangers aren’t going to see light of day, and will be reported to the appropriate databases. Comments are here to continue exploring the thoughts in the posts, or to be a connection between the participants in it.

So, if you’re not someone I already know, and you want to make a connection with what you find here, then say something with even a little bit of substance. Otherwise, I’m going to assume that this is from a spammer and, possibly, machine generated.