I sit here at the keyboard and I don’t really know where to start. The title is “My Depression Speaks” and my depression doesn’t want to talk to you. It doesn’t want me to talk to you. But I’m going to. I might do this more than once. Or I might delete this whole thing before posting it. I don’t know. But I’m going to write down what my depression is saying to me:
Nobody cares what I’m telling you. Nobody wants to hear it. People have their own problems. They don’t need to hear about yours. They’ll just think you’re a loser. They already think you’re a loser, but this will make it worse. Someone will probably unfriend you if they even bother to see it now (or hide you) so they don’t have to see any more of your whiny nonsense anymore.
You’re not going to make it. You’re not ready. You can’t do it. You can’t do anything. You can’t finish anything. Anything you do finish isn’t good enough anyhow. I don’t see why you even bother to try. All your ideas are dumb, anyway. You’re just a loser doing a job nobody wants, nobody wants to look at, and you’re probably going to lose that anyhow. And then you’ll be stuck — nowhere to go. You can’t even get by on what you get from it. And there’s no use trying to find anything more or better — money is too tight everywhere, and you don’t fit anybody’s idea of who they want to hire. Nobody wants to hear your ideas or your solutions — they wouldn’t work, and nobody would go along with them anyway.
What a waste of space and time. Nobody can rely on you — you always flake out and let them down if it really matters.
So, now you’re wallowing in self-pity. Anything, as long as it doesn’t matter.
It goes on from there, and it gets meaner. It trashes you as well, since you’re reading this. Sorry. I’m done with this for now.
Based in a comment I made elsewhere that I want to keep. I may build on this at another time.
If the Democrat leaders in Congress want to pass a health care bill, they’re going to have to settle for consensus points. If they really want to improve the health of Americans, they’re going to have to find the guts to tell people about the choices they are making that are exploding the costs of health-care across the board, and nobody likes to tell people they are dependent on that they need to eat their spinach. Continue reading Health Care Bill Realities
This is good stuff. I went running today.
Also, trying to figure out how to post embeds like this, and, with ‘s help, I think I’ve got it.
I’ve been trying to find a way to work some fitness things into my life again. I started the 100 pushups for breakfast program a while back, but backed off it when I realized I wasn’t going to be having to take a fitness challenge for a job, and it’s been quite a long time since I’ve had running as part of my active life. But StumbleUpon keeps pointing me at fitness sites from time to time, and that’s how I ran into Project Fit.
Project Fit has two programs I’m following, both by RSS feed. Starting Monday, they’re going to publish workout programs that use bodyweight and resistance (meaning you don’t need a gym or a bunch of equipment to do it) on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. But the other program is already going — the 100 Rep Challenge. I started that yesterday.
The nice thing is that these challenges come with beginner, intermediate and advanced versions, so, as I go, I can find where I best fit. The idea is to get 100 reps in, in however many sets it takes, before the day is out — no time limit. Yesterday’s challenge was dips, and, even doing chair-dips, I could only get 50 done by the end of the day, in sets of no more than 10 (several sets of 50, and that left me with arms that were hard to lift, like when I started the push-up program. Today’s challenge was Hip-Floor Raises/Extensions/Bridges, and I managed to get all 100 done in one set. My legs are stronger than my arms.
Next time I get to dips, I might be up to doing the 100 before they day’s out. Who knows.